in california...
miaow!
fakediy
i'm a lot more for talking about thoughts and feelings than i am about the things i do. this is due to two reasons - i never really do anything and also because i never really understand these feelings and emotions and echoes of everything. i like to come back to them and join the dots. it's an abstract way of writing a journal but the other way seems alien because of facebook and twitter and boredom.

(no subject)
miaow!
fakediy
sorrow found me when i was young / sorrow waited, sorrow won

I could swear the night makes a motion to claim me
miaow!
fakediy
I am not like you
I ain't from this place
And I do reserve the right
To repeat all my same mistakes


Taking a journey through memories and recollections, ice cold or sun-stroked. Like nothing ever changed.

the fool from the deck.
miaow!
fakediy
every little thing is a small footprint on something. a trail of paw prints in the snow. i've been talking in code for so long that everything becomes abstract at the edges and focus gets lost. i spin a web of lies so well that the lies become truth. memories are slightly warped, the sacred heart becomes crystallised and history is bent beyond recognition. this is how i have lived for so long; the sacrifices needed to keep the truth at bay, to just keep things moving forwards. of course, the day comes when you can't live like that, because life is so much more and deserves so much more than just simply moving forwards. i pressed a switch from self harm to self denial, a greater harm than physicality allows i guess. to repair takes courage and i've never been very brave, but being aware to what i've done is a good start i guess. it's hard to be open when i've been closed for so so long. the words fade as the snow falls and i wonder what's next.
Tags:

2011 is over!
miaow!
fakediy
THIS IS GOOD NEWS!

I'm not marking it at all - no self reflection, looking back or any of that. In a strange personality shift, I'm just going to look forwards. I begin my new post at work on Tuesday, my leg feels better than it has for a few months and I'm in a pretty good mood. It's time to come out of hibernation I think.

(no subject)
miaow!
fakediy
in to my twenty sixth year without being eaten by a bear! woo! xx

(no subject)
miaow!
fakediy
we were young, we were arrogant. now i'm no longer young.

yr light goes out
miaow!
fakediy
sometimes i miss manchester.




sometimes i miss a lot of things.

i'll be five thousand miles away
miaow!
fakediy
wedding present last night were ace as ever. had another chat with the gedge, this time about my manics shirt. bless. crowd stood still all night which was strange, especially as i was leaning on the stage. still, good fun. off to paris on thursday! well, the disney version of paris. excited! the past roars, the future calls, etc etc etc etc x

(no subject)
miaow!
fakediy
we are hummingbirds who are just not willing to move
and there's good news for people who love bad news

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